Thoughts While Walking

Pedometer on. . . check.
Sony Walkman in pocket. . . check.
Headphones. . . check.
Assume runner's stance. . . not.

Don't you just hate when you let a perfectly good day, especially a day off work, be wasted in grumpiness? I do. This afternoon, the "grumbly growlies", as I used to call it when Adrienne and Aaron were little, came knocking at the door, and I let them in.

I let them have their way as I made supper, and all through the meal. Then I had enough. I went for a random fast 2.6 mile walk. Here is how the walk went:

-"Grrrr..."
-"It is a pretty evening."
-"There's Leo on the tractor. He looks nice on a tractor."
-"Okay, turn right or left? Ummm, left. I always go left."
-"I hope the Amish aren't out."

I have to explain that one. I do not like walking when anyone sees me, especially our Amish neighbors. I always feel like I should be wearing a dress, not jeans or shorts. I am always self-conscious and think that they all think that I look ridiculous and that if I worked more, I wouldn't need to walk for exercise. I know, they are probably not thinking anything of the sort and they probably do not care how I look, but somehow I always think about this when I walk. I'd rather sneak through the cornfields.

-"Whew, no one is around. Just walk normally past the houses in case they are all looking at me from behind the curtains. "
-"I wonder if that dog is still alive; I haven't seen it all summer."
-"Oh, there he is, on the porch. Please be tied, please be tied."

That little orange fluff ball of a dog may be small, but his tiny teeth look sharp, and he is never happy when I walk by. Tonight though he was strangely silent as his beady eyes tracked my every move.

-"No houses. Good."
-"Oh, I like this song (Celtic Thunder of course)."

I begin to walk to the rhythm of the song and my arms are pumping. I am feeling fine as I strut down the road. Then to my horror, I hear over the music in my ears, the clip-clop of a horse and buggy. I gradually, so as not to draw attention, bring my arms down to my side, and slow down my pace to a normal walk. Then I smile and wave as they pass me by. As soon as they are past I see the young couple lean into each other, whispering. I would like to think they were whispering sweet nothings to each other, but I am more certain they were commenting about the 40-something year old woman causing the ground to shake.

-"Good, there's the turn around point. "
-"And, oh my, look at all the Amish, including the young couple."
-"Just turn around and keep walking normally."
-"I love the clouds tonight. So pretty. "
-"I wonder what kind of weed that is; it's kind of pretty, for a weed."
-"I wonder if Fluff Ball is still outside. Yes, there he is, watching me."
-"Let's just saunter calmly to the other side of the road just til I am past his boundary."
-"They smell fear, don't they? Walk faster."
-"Still no Neighbors outside. Walk, keep walking. Look straight ahead."
-"Nice chicken coop."
-"I think I could jog down the driveway."
-"Support is so important at times like these."
-"Oh yeah, 2.6 miles in 32 minutes."
-"Why did I wear jeans?"

And now I am at the house, the grumbly-growlies have packed up and gone away. I wish I could say it was for good, but at least there is a remedy.

Love,
Dianne