...and now FIVE YEARS later...

December 2, 2011
http://vintagedandelion.blogspot.com/2011/12/first-time-for-everything.html

Five years ago I sat at the same place at my kitchen table and thought, "Why not write a blog?" And so I did. I took a screen shot on my new MacBook and vintage Dandelion was born. When I was a high school senior, in one of my classes, they had us write down where we thought we'd be in one year, five years, ten years and so on. I thought since it has been nearly five years to the day that I started blogging, I'd see where I am from where I thought I'd be.


5 years ago....

• Working night shift as an RN in the NICU was what I did for a living. I was starting to feel like I'd be here permanently.
• My hair was curly.
• I liked coffee; on this day it was Pumpkin Spice. 
• Credit card debt hung heavily over my head, on my back...
• I still had five children at home.
• I didn't need to wear glasses all that much.
• I wanted to lose weight, about 10-15 lbs. 

• I wanted to write more, sew more, read more, cook healthier, garden more, and the list could go on...

Today...

• As of today, I'm taking a break from my career, for about a month or so. You know me, I can't not work, but I am ready for part-time or per diem instead of full-time, full-on RN work. 
• I am refocusing on my family, my home, my friends, and my God (not necessarily in that order).
• The curls? I miss them, but I am enjoying some highlights and low-lights and a few more gray hairs.
• I still like love coffee. Today it was flavored "sugar cookie". I've learned how to make my own creme brulee coffee. 
• Credit card debt? As of November 30th, 2016 the credit cards are paid, my school loan is paid. I have learned a lot about budgeting this past year and how to really get those darn things paid off. It's one huge reason I can now take a month off to refocus and then work less hours. Credit card debt can own you if you let it get away from you. I know.
• My baby girl and baby boy are still at home. The others have fully spread their wings and have flown. Adrienne is in Pittsburgh, Amy is in Columbus, and Aaron and Lisa-Anna are in Frostburg. Heather just told me today that she filled out more forms for Rosedale Bible College for next year. Ryan is a teenager. I really shouldn't think of them as babies anymore, but it's a mom thing and they indulge me. 
• Glasses. Spectacles. Bifocals. Pretty much all the time. I've gotten used to them and seriously can't read at all without them. 
• I still want to lose weight. Except now it's more like 20-25 lbs. Losing weight in the past five years has been non-existent. Not that the creme brulee coffee creamer has anything to do with it.
• I still want to do more, like reading, sewing, gardening, cooking, scrapbooking, and writing; being without a hobby has never been my problem, it is figuring out that balance in my life of work and play. I hope this next month, going into the holidays is a chance to breathe more, pause more, enjoy simple things more. 

Wanted: CPR

Prepare
    :to make (someone or something) ready for some activity, purpose, use, etc.
    :to make yourself ready for something that you will be doing, something that       you expect to happen, etc
    :to make or create (something) so that it is ready for use 

The week of Christmas, my Mac laptop decided it was taking a break. Not a self-imposed hiatus from Facebook or a pause in my life from all things technical or digital, but a complete and total vacation from everything. I keep telling myself it is just a vacation and the Mac will be back, but after its first checkup with the Geek Squad, I am feeling like this is going to turn into so much more than a mere checkout.

There was no sign of life at all they said. They are shipping it to a specialized Mac service center in KY for further diagnostics. I am afraid it needs urgent CPR.

That is Computer Power Restoration in case you were wondering. CPR.

Not that I can't function without the Mac because as you can see, I am still on-line. I am using the family laptop with a Windows operation system and while I prefer my laptop, this is okay. I just had to get used to the mouse, the way the screen moved, the crazy pop-up ads, etc. Kinda like driving a manual transmission for years and switching to an automatic for a little then, then going back to a manual. Pushing the brake thinking it is the clutch. Trying to shift down and then realizing you just went from drive to neutral. Annoying yes, but doable.

My biggest stress in all this is that I was not faithful in backing up my information. My last official big backup? March 2014. When your financial records are on there, well, that's bad. I'll be the first to say that I am not the most organized person. I simply was not prepared.

And there you have it.

On a local radio station, they have been talking since the first of the year about having "a word" that is your word for the year, instead of a New Year's Resolution. I have decided that my word is Prepare. Here's an example: If I had been prepared, I would have had "my word" by or on January 1st. No, it is January 10th and I finally have chosen my word.

If I had only backed up my laptop, I'd have been prepared for it's demise.
If I had only prepared something to eat, I wouldn't have been eating Cheezits in my car yesterday for breakfast.
If I had been keeping up all year with paperwork, I would be better prepared for tax season and FAFSA time.
If I had prepared for Winter Camp, I would've seen before the day camp started that I had not received the email parent packet and could have sent for it and had it ready before I was at camp.
If I had only prepared for my kid's college years, I wouldn't be stressing about the finances now.

In my defense, I thought I still had lots of time before the college years. But a crazy thing happened when I wasn't looking. They grew up. Sigh.

I am finding that I am more unorganized, scatterbrained and crazy because I have not prepared. The  plan that is in my head is in too many pieces. It is making me grouchy, angry at myself, and generally just not a nice person to be around right now. Something has got to change around here.

It's funny, but with my job, I am generally prepared. I get everything ready the night before. My clothes are laid out, my lunch is packed, and I have something for breakfast waiting to be pulled out of the fridge in the morning. I have a bag with anything I may need during a 16 hour shift packed and ready. Apparently a really good motivator for me is sleep. I don't want to get up any earlier than I have to!

I could get into retirement, estate planning and having a will too. It's not that I think this is unimportant; it just hasn't been gotten around to yet. PREPARE. It is important. I don't want to always be focused on the "what if's", and the future, but I could definitely do better, and it would make living in the present so much nicer because I would be getting rid of an element of worry that hangs over my head like a black cloud and a boulder on my shoulders.

As much as I want to be a spontaneous, fun, live vicariously kind of gal, there is a time and a place for that and there is a time to be prepared. Scrambling at the last minute for papers that I knew I had just seen and now can't find and I need for an important meeting...no fun. Saying to my kids, "Hey, let's go see The Hobbit tonight!", that's fun.

I may need CPR. That is Comprehensive Preparedness and Readiness. Or, in layman's terms
"Ready, Set, Go!"

Love,
Dianne

Procrastination Destination

It's 11:50AM and I should have the primer on Heather's walls.

But I don't.

I have been excited about this project and now I am procrastinating getting started. I think it is because my  paint "stuff" is not organized to my OCD specifications and I need to go down to the basement and look for a couple things to get started. So, I am avoiding it. Because I know when I go to the basement, I will feel the need to organize it. For an hour or more. I will also see the washing machine that is only working sometimes (something in the control panel), and all the laundry and that will be annoying. I will have to go check it out too.

 Sometimes my biggest frustration in life is myself.

Okay, take a deep breath. Take another deep breath. Say a prayer for God's direction on my day.

"My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor." Ecclesiastes 2:10


I need to just enjoy my day, my work. Not get caught up and stressed out over details that really aren't that important.

My today resolution: Put on some lively Celtic music, push everything away from Heather's walls and cover with old sheets, get the primer from the basement (wear a blindfold if I have to), and get it on the walls!

Note to self: Pause often to smile. Pause often to stretch. Definitely pause for a cup of coffee. Sing loudly with the music. Who cares who hears you? It's not like the milkman or the feed guy will be stopping in.

Love,
Dianne

My "Today Resolution"

I started taking down the Christmas decorations today. I like to do it just a little at a time; otherwise I just end up with everything "Christmas" in our bedroom (which is just off the attic) in piles of festive clutter. If I do it in bits and pieces, it usually ends up being put away into proper storage containers, organized by room or theme.

Note the word "usually".

Maybe that should be, "sometimes" or "almost never", but hey, the intention is there!

Speaking of intentions, now is always a good time to think about the "R" word.

Resolution.

I usually don't make any official declarations of intent, because I don't want to ever feel like I need to wait for a new year to make a needed change. For me, that only becomes an excuse to put off what I need to be doing now.

Like, eating healthier...
Like, getting rid of clutter...
Like, keeping my financial affairs organized and not waiting until it has to be done...
Like, exercising consistently...
Like, getting unfinished projects done...
Like, cooking more for my family (yeah, Leo is a fierce cook, and that makes me lazy)...
Like, not making excuses...

You get the idea.

So, my "Today Resolution" is to make supper for my family.
Let's see...Ham
                Twice-baked Potatoes
                Some kind of vegetable (the top vote from the family usually wins)

prior to baking....mmmm

After baking...even more Mmmmmm

That seems do-able. And I think that's the key for me. I need to make my goals, my intentions, my resolutions, whatever they are, do-able. Now my dreams, that's another story....for another day...

A December Resolution

Ah yes, it's Monday. A day that many people dread because it is the start of the work-week. I kinda like Mondays. It is a new week. What will it hold?

 I need to get bookwork done this week. Stuff I have been avoiding for days...weeks...okay, okay....months. Entering transactions on the computer, for both farm and household. I think I avoid it because I don't want to see how much money we spend and on what we spend it. Somehow, seeing it in black and white is daunting.

I think what I shall do is shred some credit cards. Using them is a little like eating and trying to lose weight. They are so easy to use, but not so easy to pay off. But this is the year! Why wait for the New Year to make a resolution. Make it today!

Okay, here goes...

After the shredder

Now that felt good. I needed to do that a long time ago! So, my goal is to get these credit cards paid off in a year. My December Resolution.

There's always tomorrow

I had so many plans for today. So many items on a "to-do list" that I was hoping to have crossed off before going to bed tonight.  Lets see...wrap a couple gifts,  make a large pine wreath to hang outside on the house, get a Christmas tree (and of course, decorate it), do a couple loads of laundry, organize my sewing corner so I can get to work on some gift ideas, etc, etc.

As it is 4:45pm now, I should have something crossed off. Ummm.....nope. Instead, I slept in my car at Wal-Mart until noon (and no, I am not weird, I just work night shift. Well, okay, maybe that does make me weird.), did a little Christmas shopping, drove an hour or so home, and then dozed off in my driveway, in my car again, until about 3:45pm.

I am tempted to get grumpy at everyone and everything because I feel like I wasted a day off.  I get so mad at myself for needing sleep. Why? I can choose right now to have a different attitude, to make the most of the hours I have left today. Maybe, we can walk up to the end of the lane and pick out our tree at Level Acres Nursery. It may not get decorated today, but there is always tomorrow. I can cut greenery for the wreath. It may not get formed into a wreath today, but there is always tomorrow. I can get 1 or 2 gifts wrapped tonight instead of all the gifts. You know, there's always tomorrow.

I don't think I am encouraging myself to procrastinate; instead I am allowing myself to set goals that are realistic, even attainable. There is a place for unrealistic goals (dreams, if you will), that inspire me to make them happen. But for today, I will be content.


"Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind." Ecclesiastes 4:6

Sleeping the day away...or at least I should be.

I should be asleep right now. Instead I am suffering from what is known as "a second wind". After a night shift that I thought would never end, and thinking about falling into my bed and sleeping, I am...awake. 


So frustrating. And really, just what is a "second wind" anyhow?  
1. The return of relative ease of breathing after the initial exhaustion that occurs during continued physical exertion.
2. Restored energy or strength.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. (does that mean I can't use the def. here???)


Interesting, and here I always thought it had to do with sailing. Like when a ship has hit the doldrums, going nowhere, when suddenly a wind arises. This would be "the second wind", with the first wind being what got the ship there in the first place. 


So, other than experiencing a second wind right now (when I should be asleep), where am I at in life? With my goals? Perhaps I am in a bit of a doldrum, waiting for just the right breeze, from the right direction at the right time. Maybe though, instead of being content to drift aimlessly, I need to raise my sails in hopes of catching that breeze, that second wind and letting it take me where 'ere it leads. I need to hoist up the anchors that are holding me back, set my sights on the horizon, and sail. 

goals...Goals...GOALS

 I am eating a steaming hot bowl of chili, listening to Heather and Ryan chatter about their day, as Christmas music (Celtic, of course) plays in the background.  All the while, I am thinking about this blog, and it's purpose. 

 One purpose of this blog is to inspire me to be focused, to achieve goals. One of my life goals is to write a book and get published.  To aid in the pursuit of that goal, I need to get back into a habit of writing.  So, here I blog. Someone wise told me to "just write" and it will get easier.  

Back to goals.....I have many.  Some are short-term, like getting the house decorated for Christmas and making some Christmas gifts.  Some will take a little more time, like finishing  my Rhode Island Scrapbook,  losing the last 15 lbs (okay, a lot more time), or cleaning out the attic. And then there are those lifelong goals that require determination, stamina and fearlessness,  like learning to ride a horse (like Zorro),  learning to ballroom dance,  and, yes, not only writing, but publishing a book.

Ecclesiastes 3 says there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under Heaven...so, in His timing, in His plan is where I want to be. 

A First Time For Everything

I never thought I would have a blog. A few years ago, a blog was something your just-learning-to-talk baby might’ve said while eating oatmeal. Now, it is nothing short of a phenomenon. A fad, a trend for sure. Everyone has a blog, right? So, why not me? I guess I always thought “why does what someone has to say, or what they think, have to be published?” I mean, really, is nothing private anymore? Then I started thinking about my life. What are my goals, ambitions, and dreams? And why haven’t I attained many of them? The answer: accountability, or rather, the lack of it. Maybe, just maybe, if I wrote about my goals, ambitions, and dreams, in a more public way, I would be more likely to succeed. I figured it was worth a try, so here I am at my kitchen table, a pumpkin spice latte in a Christmas mug, giving this a go. After all, there is a first time for everything.