Wanted: CPR

Prepare
    :to make (someone or something) ready for some activity, purpose, use, etc.
    :to make yourself ready for something that you will be doing, something that       you expect to happen, etc
    :to make or create (something) so that it is ready for use 

The week of Christmas, my Mac laptop decided it was taking a break. Not a self-imposed hiatus from Facebook or a pause in my life from all things technical or digital, but a complete and total vacation from everything. I keep telling myself it is just a vacation and the Mac will be back, but after its first checkup with the Geek Squad, I am feeling like this is going to turn into so much more than a mere checkout.

There was no sign of life at all they said. They are shipping it to a specialized Mac service center in KY for further diagnostics. I am afraid it needs urgent CPR.

That is Computer Power Restoration in case you were wondering. CPR.

Not that I can't function without the Mac because as you can see, I am still on-line. I am using the family laptop with a Windows operation system and while I prefer my laptop, this is okay. I just had to get used to the mouse, the way the screen moved, the crazy pop-up ads, etc. Kinda like driving a manual transmission for years and switching to an automatic for a little then, then going back to a manual. Pushing the brake thinking it is the clutch. Trying to shift down and then realizing you just went from drive to neutral. Annoying yes, but doable.

My biggest stress in all this is that I was not faithful in backing up my information. My last official big backup? March 2014. When your financial records are on there, well, that's bad. I'll be the first to say that I am not the most organized person. I simply was not prepared.

And there you have it.

On a local radio station, they have been talking since the first of the year about having "a word" that is your word for the year, instead of a New Year's Resolution. I have decided that my word is Prepare. Here's an example: If I had been prepared, I would have had "my word" by or on January 1st. No, it is January 10th and I finally have chosen my word.

If I had only backed up my laptop, I'd have been prepared for it's demise.
If I had only prepared something to eat, I wouldn't have been eating Cheezits in my car yesterday for breakfast.
If I had been keeping up all year with paperwork, I would be better prepared for tax season and FAFSA time.
If I had prepared for Winter Camp, I would've seen before the day camp started that I had not received the email parent packet and could have sent for it and had it ready before I was at camp.
If I had only prepared for my kid's college years, I wouldn't be stressing about the finances now.

In my defense, I thought I still had lots of time before the college years. But a crazy thing happened when I wasn't looking. They grew up. Sigh.

I am finding that I am more unorganized, scatterbrained and crazy because I have not prepared. The  plan that is in my head is in too many pieces. It is making me grouchy, angry at myself, and generally just not a nice person to be around right now. Something has got to change around here.

It's funny, but with my job, I am generally prepared. I get everything ready the night before. My clothes are laid out, my lunch is packed, and I have something for breakfast waiting to be pulled out of the fridge in the morning. I have a bag with anything I may need during a 16 hour shift packed and ready. Apparently a really good motivator for me is sleep. I don't want to get up any earlier than I have to!

I could get into retirement, estate planning and having a will too. It's not that I think this is unimportant; it just hasn't been gotten around to yet. PREPARE. It is important. I don't want to always be focused on the "what if's", and the future, but I could definitely do better, and it would make living in the present so much nicer because I would be getting rid of an element of worry that hangs over my head like a black cloud and a boulder on my shoulders.

As much as I want to be a spontaneous, fun, live vicariously kind of gal, there is a time and a place for that and there is a time to be prepared. Scrambling at the last minute for papers that I knew I had just seen and now can't find and I need for an important meeting...no fun. Saying to my kids, "Hey, let's go see The Hobbit tonight!", that's fun.

I may need CPR. That is Comprehensive Preparedness and Readiness. Or, in layman's terms
"Ready, Set, Go!"

Love,
Dianne

Keys Locked in the Car...Again

I am a little bummed right now. Annoyed. Aggravated. Bummed.

I locked my keys in my car. And not only my main set of keys, but my spare key also which is in my purse. Inside the car.

Why, oh why? How could I be so stupid?

Wait, don't answer that.

So now, I have to go fishing with a coat hanger in hopes of catching the button just right, thus releasing the mechanism.  Usually when this happens, the problem is getting the coat hanger to get through the crack above the door without causing any damage to the vehicle.

Did you notice, I said usually when this happens? Yes, this has happened before. Quite a few times actually. It's kinda like me and running out of gas. You would think after it has happened once or twice, I would learn from my mistakes. It seems that it takes me much longer than that to learn something. I think it has a lot to do with pride and being stubborn; being resistant to change up my routine.

Perhaps it is time to break down a couple walls here; get rid of some unhealthy habits and unnecessary rituals.  Perhaps it is time to unlock (ha ha) some better organization and time management skills. If I had done that already, I may not be in the predicament I am in now. All I had to do was take my purse in the house first. Voila!

And did you notice how I am still avoiding going out into the cold darkness to poke at my car? I am hoping Leo gets home soon and will be my knight in shining armor rescuing his damsel in distress.

Or I could go out there and get the deed done...

Or not...

Organization, time management, being able to be independent in these kind of situations...all things I need to work on. So, I guess I'll go put some boots on and a jacket, go find a coat hanger, and get this done.

Here I go...really I am...I am thinking about it anyhow.

I'll let you know tomorrow how it ends.

Love,
Dianne

Procrastination Destination

It's 11:50AM and I should have the primer on Heather's walls.

But I don't.

I have been excited about this project and now I am procrastinating getting started. I think it is because my  paint "stuff" is not organized to my OCD specifications and I need to go down to the basement and look for a couple things to get started. So, I am avoiding it. Because I know when I go to the basement, I will feel the need to organize it. For an hour or more. I will also see the washing machine that is only working sometimes (something in the control panel), and all the laundry and that will be annoying. I will have to go check it out too.

 Sometimes my biggest frustration in life is myself.

Okay, take a deep breath. Take another deep breath. Say a prayer for God's direction on my day.

"My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor." Ecclesiastes 2:10


I need to just enjoy my day, my work. Not get caught up and stressed out over details that really aren't that important.

My today resolution: Put on some lively Celtic music, push everything away from Heather's walls and cover with old sheets, get the primer from the basement (wear a blindfold if I have to), and get it on the walls!

Note to self: Pause often to smile. Pause often to stretch. Definitely pause for a cup of coffee. Sing loudly with the music. Who cares who hears you? It's not like the milkman or the feed guy will be stopping in.

Love,
Dianne

Ritual and Routine

We humans are such creatures of habit. Most of us like to get up at around the same time everyday and then we follow a routine of some kind.

Go to the bathroom.
Brush teeth.
Step on the scales to see if that piece of pie was worth it.
                                     (Believe me, the pie was worth it!)
Stumble to the kitchen (stumbling because I still haven't had my coffee)
Make coffee.
Eat breakfast (usually yogurt with fruit and granola with some flaxseed thrown in)
Drink coffee while having some devotional/Bible reading time.
Make my to-do list for the day
Etc etc...

We all have our daily rituals that help our lives make sense. When I deviate from my "usual" I feel out of sorts. I like structure. I like order. I am the person who adds things to my to-do list after I have done them, so I can have the satisfaction of crossing it off.

But, my life usually tends to fall into the category of unstructured, unordered, even chaotic at times. Most of that is due to my work schedule and night shift. Today was technically a day off, but I worked last night, so I came home and slept. Sometimes I try to just stay up all day, hoping to have a productive day. Usually, I end up grouchy and not a nice person to be around, so I am better off sleeping, at least part of the day.

Other days, when I haven't been working, I may have a plan that gets changed by a sick child, or a phone call by someone who needs a favor, or lack of supplies/ingredients for a project. I have learned to be more of a "go with the flow" kind of woman.

It hasn't been easy.

Again, I like structure and order. When something as simple as a couch cushion is out of place, I feel unbalanced. I think I may be a little OCD.

I have had to give a little, give a lot. Sometimes, I just have to say "In the big scheme of things, is what I am freaking out about, really all that important?"

I need to keep it balanced. Because keeping it in balance, is like being organized and structured in a way.
It is just realizing that life isn't always "by the book" (or to-do list), and being able to be okay with it.

So, now as my day is ending:
                        Clean up supper dishes
                        Check laundry (move stuff from washer to dryer)
                        Relax with family
                        Read or watch TV for a while while folding laundry
                        Eat a piece of pie (with whipped cream)
                        Brush teeth
                        Set alarm for morning
                        Go to bed
Good night all.
See you tomorrow.
After my cup of coffee.

Alarm clock....go away...

It's 4:07 pm and my alarm went off 7 minutes ago and now the series of snooze wake-up calls has begun. I am too tired to even reach over and shut it off, to let it know that I am awake. I think I understand quite well why people throw their alarm clocks across a room, or pound on them to make them stop. Oh, and there it goes again...

Alarm clock. Even the name is annoying. Why would anyone even want something that signifies ALARM! To me, alarm means impending danger, something distressing. No wonder no one wants their alarm clock to go off!

Maybe if it were called an Anticipation Clock or even an Inspiration Device, we would look forward to what the day holds with excitement instead of dread. I wish my wake- up call included coffee and breakfast in bed. Yes, even at 4:00 in the afternoon. All night shift workers will understand.

Maybe when my clock sounds the alarm, it could also have an inspiring quote or verse to get me motivated to fling off the warm covers, bound out of bed, and greet my offspring with a smile. You know, instead of the normal squinty-eyed look that says my eyes would rather be closed, and the grunt that means "I won't be fully awake until after coffee and a shower."

So, as the alarm clock continues to remind me that I am still in bed, I stretch and yawn, stretch again, and think about getting up. At least now I am pondering the possibility.

"Let the morning (or evening, as the case may be) bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Psalms 143:8

Sleeping the day away...or at least I should be.

I should be asleep right now. Instead I am suffering from what is known as "a second wind". After a night shift that I thought would never end, and thinking about falling into my bed and sleeping, I am...awake. 


So frustrating. And really, just what is a "second wind" anyhow?  
1. The return of relative ease of breathing after the initial exhaustion that occurs during continued physical exertion.
2. Restored energy or strength.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. (does that mean I can't use the def. here???)


Interesting, and here I always thought it had to do with sailing. Like when a ship has hit the doldrums, going nowhere, when suddenly a wind arises. This would be "the second wind", with the first wind being what got the ship there in the first place. 


So, other than experiencing a second wind right now (when I should be asleep), where am I at in life? With my goals? Perhaps I am in a bit of a doldrum, waiting for just the right breeze, from the right direction at the right time. Maybe though, instead of being content to drift aimlessly, I need to raise my sails in hopes of catching that breeze, that second wind and letting it take me where 'ere it leads. I need to hoist up the anchors that are holding me back, set my sights on the horizon, and sail.