One Husband, Cooked To Perfection

The conversation started with "sandwich spread". Years ago, my mom would make this connection of green tomatoes, onions, peppers and celery; then along with some flour, cornstarch, water and salad dressing, she would can it in a hot water bath. To prove that I wasn't making this up, and that we used to eat sandwiches with just this "sandwich spread" on it, I turned to the old Cherry Glade cookbook.

There on page 72 was the recipe. Then as I flipped through the cookbook, I came across a page that I had seen many times before, but had never really read.

Until now.

"HOW TO COOK A HUSBAND" (taken from "The Bible Friend" August 1979)

Oh my. Oh dear.

I began to read it aloud to my family. I understood the concept of equating "cooking" your husband, to "loving" him in a godly way, but when I got to the part that said "Like crabs and lobsters, husbands are cooked alive.", I lost it.

I laughed until I had tears. I could barely get out the next words.

"They sometimes fly out of the kettle and so become burned and crusty on the edges..." 

Really.

Of course, it did bring up some good points, such as whether I keep my man "constantly in hot water" or if I am freezing him out with "carelessness and indifference". I learned that I should "use no pepper or vinegar on any account", but that "a little sugar in the form of kisses" is certainly recommended.

Another interesting bit of advice was regarding the selecting of a husband. In comparing him to, umm, fish, the suggestion was to "be sure and select him yourself, as tastes differ." Hmmm, that kinda throws blind dates out of the boat, so to speak. Oh, and in the selection process, please remember "It is far better not to have one at all unless you will patiently learn how to cook him." 

Remember the burnt and crusty edges? Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Why didn't I read this before? Like back in 1988 when I got married. It could have saved my poor husband from "sputters".  (Really, I have no idea what that means.) Regardless, the lesson to be learned here is to treat him with kindness, respect, honor, warmth, cheerfulness, and love and he will be "cooked" to perfection. Or at least something like that.

Kinda like whipped cream and strawberries,
or bananas and peanut butter,
ice-cream and hot fudge
or even a baked potato with broccoli.

Different, yet they go so well together as they balance each other out. Delicious.
Maybe, just maybe there is something to this cooking the husband thing after all.

Love,
Dianne


PS. When a husband is not spoiled by mismanagement, he will serve a lifetime of happiness.