Being A Mother-In-Law, umm Love

Yesterday my daughter-in-law Lisa-Anna and I made plans to go to a local antique boutique. Located in an upstairs room of Blue Moon Antiques, it was a treasure room of vintage apparel that the owner has collected since she was 11 years old. I believe she is a kindred spirit. 

(By the way, this is not the owner)

As I pulled into Aaron and Lisa-Anna's driveway I had the oddest sensation. I-Am-The-Mother-In-Law. 

I mean, I knew it before , but it was just this feeling of wondering if this is how my mom feels when she pulls into my driveway. It really got me thinking about this role and what it means. 

First, I brought the sweet couple a few scones (Pumpkin Scones with a Maple Pumpkin Glaze) to enjoy.

This was not because I don't think her cooking (or his for that matter) is "good enough", but because I just wanted to share. She actually bakes more than me as evidenced by the freshly baked, still steaming, apple pie on their stove. 

Rule #1: Recognize the awesome cook that your daughter-in-law is. She has her own style, her own flair and does not need my advice on cooking. Unless she asks. 

She apologized that her house was messy. 

Rule #2: Never comment that their house is messy, because it really doesn't matter. She has seen my house at its less-than-finest. Okay, okay, it was a total pigsty and she had to wallow through it. So, her housekeeping skills are not in question. At all. 

Getting in the car, we went the few miles to Blue Moon Antiques. After browsing through the elaborate wardrobes, vintage dinnerware, fainting couches, and coffee mills we went upstairs. Met by flapper hats, beaded and flowered, white gowns reminiscent of Anne of Green Gables, and dresses that every housewife of the 1950's would have coveted mixed in with long elegant gloves and dainty evening bags…..ah, it was wonderful. 

Rule #3: Be thankful for the fun moments shared with the ones we love. And that definitely includes this new daughter of mine. Be prepared to sometimes just have random-ish moments just simply because. 

Rule #4: No matter what she chooses to wear, never imply that she should dress more like yourself. She is unique. Especially in a Granny Square Sweater. So much color. So much interesting. 

I prefer the vintage, but slightly boring, dress. Where is that 1950's girdle when I need it?
We found one dress and it's owner had a waist that measured 24-26 inches. Like mine was. When I was 8. And the kilt Amy tried on? Let's just say that the lassie that wore it had a waist about the size of Ryan's.

 Rule #5: Have fun and spend time with the newest addition to your family, but give them the space they need to become their own family unit too. 

Rule #6: Be available to give guidance and advice if needed.

Rule #7: Say "Thank You"and "I love you"  and never just assume that they know how thankful you are for them and what they mean to you. 

Lisa-Anna,
Yeah, I'm the "Mother-in-Law" but as a friend of mine likes to say, and I prefer, let's go with "Mother-in-Love" instead. I don't have this all figured out, but I am thankful that we were friends long before the proposal. I don't want to be over-the-top in giving advice or the opposite in never saying anything at all.  I, along with Leo, support you and Aaron 100% and you are welcome in our home anytime. Don't knock, just come on in. That's something I know I loved about my own Mom-in-Law. I could drop in anytime and I knew I was always welcome. And I never needed to knock. So, as we continue to transition into this role, I may make mistakes and I may hurt feelings. I hope not, but if it happens let's figure it out. Because in the end, I believe we are kindred spirits too.

Love,
Dianne