In the Words of Alfred Lord Tennyson

Grief and love. This week has been a week filled with both, which is appropriate really, since they go hand-in-hand. Without love, would there be a reason to grieve? We have all either read books or watched movies in which this cycle of love and grief occur. The resulting lesson is usually along the lines of this"

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Alfred Lord Tennyson

This week, a man with many roles, many titles, was laid to rest. The grief that we shared as a family was as varied as the large group know as Pap's "freindshaft" is. From being very open with emotion to being very private, we covered all the bases and then some. There was no right or wrong in how grief was, and is, expressed. From openly crying to remembering funny stories, to joking around with each other, it was all okay. 

For me, I tend to cry privately (and at the oddest times!); when in public I am more likely to join in the story-telling or joking around with the Maust brothers as only they can. (I always did like their sense of humor.) Not that I wasn't sad this week, but along with the feeling of loss there is also joy. Joy because Pap is reunited with his one true love, his parents, his daughter, his grandson, his brothers. The reunion on the other side just keeps getting bigger and better. I find sweetness in that. 

Evident this week, alongside grief, was much love. An outpouring of love was shown in the abundance of food that people brought, the cards, and the offers of "if you need anything, just let me know".  At work, my coworkers covered my 12 hour night shifts without question. This was love (or insanity) because I know how much they all love those night shifts. People at church helped with the large fellowship meal, cleared a lot of snow from parking lots, watched the younger Maust generation in the nursery and cleaned up afterwards. All of it made the process a little easier.

Then came Valentine's Day. More love. I decided again that love is more than romance, candy and flowers; itt's in serving one another. Listening to one another. Just spending time to be together. All of this was in crazy abundance this week. Pap and Mom were like that, at least in the years I knew them, and it gives us a legacy to continue building upon. It may have been a little easier to do that this week, but I rather hope the trend continues. 

Unless we make the effort to stay in touch, to say "I love you" at the end of a phone call, to send a Facebook message just to say "hi", to take food to someone who needs it, to pick up the shift that needs covered, to send the card that says, "Thinking of you.", or countless other ways, then what really, is the point? When someone said, "love is a verb" they weren't kidding. And with that, "to grieve" is also a verb.  

It's hard, this business of love and grief. But it can be good too. Embrace it. Embrace the tears when they come, when the feelings of loss become overwhelming. Embrace the laughter that comes with just one more Pap-story. It really is better to have loved in this lifetime; this I know to be true.

Love,
Dianne