Rolling Out The Red Carpet

I had a really good conversation today with my daughter-in-law today. And you know, I still don't care for the term "daughter-in-law" because it's too formal, but then I don't want to be all "you're my daughter" because she does have a mother already who loves her too. How about this: I had a really good conversation with my joy-daughter today. Hmmm. I'll think about it. She definitely brings me joy and has been a joy to get to know and I know the joy she inspires in Aaron.

Anyhow, that being said, I did have a good conversation with Lisa-Anna today. It really made me think about cultural differences and how even the ways we were raised brings into play our adult expectations and what we each consider "normal". Culture isn't just what comes from another country, sometimes it's the differences in our own backyards.

For instance, let's take being a guest in someone's home. For me, it's definitely something I like to prepare for; I prefer to know at least a little in advance what the plan is. That's just me. It's not wrong to feel this way but it does make spontaneous hospitality difficult for me to adapt to. I do not turn into a gracious Martha Stewart, Carol Brady, or Mrs. Leave It to Beaver easily. I instead become quiet, frustrated and yes, even rude. I don't know how to react. I do eventually come around to the idea that there are people in my home and I need to turn on some element of hospitality. I am trying, I am. Let's just say that it is not a gift that I was blessed with. It is more of an acquired thing that I am still trying to learn. (Thank goodness, Leo had a mom who always just set out another plate, always had extra and never made a surprise visitor uncomfortable. That man keeps me sane, he truly does. He helps me keep my perspective on a level that matches reality.)

For somebody else though, hospitality comes easy. They may love having people just drop by and they are always prepared with a little extra food, snacks, etc. A messy house doesn't bother them. Hey, it's life! Let's live it up a little! Along with this, they love visiting other people's homes too. It's being a part of a group, a crowd and doing something, anything. Life is a stage and some people are just so talented at being the entertainment.

I could be a little jealous of that. Even when I go visit someone or go to a family gathering, I like to blend in. When I get there, I don't want to "arrive"; I want to enter unnoticed and just like to find my place quietly. Once I adapt to my surroundings, I warm up and enter in. People tend to think I am an extrovert and I think when I was younger I was more. Now, not so much. I get a little sick to my stomach in new situations, new people. I even get a little nervous with people that I do know and are my family. I don't know why, I just do.

Maybe because I've put my foot in my mouth one time too many.

So, sometimes when I have visitors, I treat them the way I want to be treated. I don't want to be noticed so I don't make a big fuss. I don't see the need for a big to-do. I'd rather just say, "Hey, glad you're here" while I keep mashing the potatoes or setting the table.

We dare not trust our wit for making our house pleasant to our friend, so we buy ice cream. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you've ever been to my house, and I don't roll out the red carpet, don't be offended. My red carpet just looks different from yours. I do want my home to be a welcoming place. I want my kid's friends to come over and hang out. I just don't want to have to make it a big deal because then it becomes a really big stress for me and I freak out just a little. I may have even had to leave the room and go breath deeply, counting to 45 or 145 to get a hold of my nerves.

Yes, that has happened.

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were. ~Author Unknown

God's working on me and in me in this matter of hospitality. He brings me Lisa-Anna who helps me see different perspectives and gives me insight into other cultures. City vs Rural,  Mennonite vs Non., Italian vs German, Man vs. Woman....you get the picture. We are all different. Sometimes it is not whether one person is "right" and the other "wrong". It is more about understanding each other's point of view, allowing differences to be acceptable, and not putting everyone into a mold.

I'm learning, hopefully growing in this area. Not that I am sending out a blank invitation to stop by to test how well I am learning or anything, but you are welcome  in my home. Truly. Just don't mind the red carpet; it's probably not vacuumed.

1 Peter 4:9  (NIV) Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Love,
Dianne