Do As I Say and Not As I Do

The other day I needed a carpet/upholstery cleaner to clean the couch and love-seat we had acquired for the bride and groom. I wanted to get it done before they arrived home from their honeymoon. Calling a local hardware store, I found out that they do indeed rent these cleaners and I told them I'd be there in a little while to pick it up.

Then, a friend was at my house and I discovered that she owns a carpet/upholstery cleaner and I could borrow it, no charge. This was great!

Until, I remembered the hardware store. I had told them I'd be there to pick one up. Maybe I should just go get it. I didn't want to hurt their feelings after all.

Wait a second. Did I really just say that? That I am worried about hurting the hardware store's personnel's feelings if I don't rent their cleaner? Really?

But that's how I am. Like, if I go to a restaurant and I order a Chef's Salad and they bring me Cauliflower Soup. I would just eat the soup so I wouldn't make the waitstaff feel bad for messing up my order. And really, both foods have the initials C.S., right? Or if I order a CD online and when I get it, the CD case is correct but the wrong CD is inside. What do I do? I keep it and say nothing. I don't even fill out the evaluation form for the order.

I worry sometimes too much about saying the wrong thing, stepping on sensitive toes, questioning someone else's opinion. But it's a fine line, isn't it? Between being honest and matter-of-fact and making someone feel pain.

I am sure if I had called the hardware store to tell them, "Never mind," they probably wouldn't have even remembered that I called. The waitress would have gladly taken the soup back and gotten my salad. The CD sender probably would've admitted his error and corrected it. But I stew and stress over it because that's just how I am. I'd rather not rock the boat.

So what to do when faced with circumstances like these?
What I tell myself I need to do (and sometimes I even listen) is to put myself in the other person's shoes.
Would I want to be told if I'd messed up? Yes.
Would I want to be told in a nice, understanding way? Of course.
Would I respond in anger? I hope not.

And there you have it. Do as I say and not as I do.

In the end, I did use my friend's steamer instead of going to the hardware store because, really, that made sense. I don't think the store people will be mad, but just in case, the next time I go there, I'll wear a disguise.

Love,
Dianne