Doing the Happy, Sad, Proud, Nostalgic Dance

The last couple of days have been happy, proud, a little sad, and a bit nostalgic, full of emotional ranges that in some ways I can't even express. One minute I am on the very brink of tears that aren't completely sad and not completely happy either; then the next minute I am smiling and the tears have gone back into hiding. That is, until the next minute rolls around.

All summer this family has been gearing up to send Amy to REACH, an outreach program that involves three months of Discipleship Training and then six months in Thailand. I am proud of the choices Amy has made and my heart beats in peace with every step she takes. She is in God's hands and I do rest in that.

That does not mean that my heart isn't just a little sad. The apron strings are slipping and with each knot that comes undone, another of my little chicks is venturing further from the nest. And I mean, Grantsville and Salisbury is one thing, but Thailand is quite another. I have to spin the globe to see where she she will be.

And then there are these two: Heather and Ryan. 

Today was their first day back to school. 

Heather is a Junior and in October can get her official I-can-drive-alone Driver's License. 

Ryan is in the 6th grade; his class is starting to switch a few classes 

in preparation for high school next year. 

And there is only two of them. Not five. Sniffle, sob. 

Happy, sad, proud, nostalgic. 

For the record: I did not pick out anybody's First-Day-of-School outfit. 

Sometimes when they look back at years past, I hear comments on their attire. 

"My shorts were so short". (Aaron)

"We look sooooo 90's." (my girls)

"Oh my goodness! Look what we were wearing!! Gasp!" (all of them)

Ryan's sandal things with socks. That was all him. 

(Someday when he looks back and wonders "WHY??" I will have it in writing.)

I told them to look like how they really feel about going to school. 

I got this: 

Then I said, "Okay now, show me how you are going to look going into the school." 

I got this: 

Yes, my house is going to be quiet today until about 1:30pm (it was a half-day). 

I'd walked up the driveway with the two of them. 

We'd taken the required pictures. 

We'd paused and said a prayer for the day. 

Then they saw the bus and would I please, please, please be headed back down the driveway before the bus actually got to our driveway because they are in 11th and 6th grade and 

really, really, really don't need their mom to walk them to meet the bus. 

So I smiled at them and briefly considered ways to embarrass them. 

But in the end, I turned down the driveway towards the house,

 but I couldn't resist just one more picture of them with the bus. 

Happy, sad, proud and nostalgic. 

Happy: My kids are healthy and independent. They do crazy things like wear socks with sandals and tell me jokes like this one: "Where does the President keep his armies?.....In his sleevies." 

Sad: My kids are independent and don't always need their mom. 

One by one they are leaving the nest. 

It is how it is supposed to be but it still makes me a little sad. 

(I'd probably be really sad if they all just decided to never move out. Ever.)

Proud: They are growing up and want to serve God. They are best friends, teachers, and missionaries. They take care of the ones God has placed into their lives. 

Nostalgic: I miss piggy-tailed hair, primary colored backpacks and elementary art projects. 

90's clothes were cool. You know it. 

Like my kids. 

Cool. 

Goodbye. 

See ya later alligator.

In a while crocodile.

See you soon baboon. 

Love, Dianne