Off-Key Crowing (Not to be confused with Off-Shore Rowing)

Hello Old Friend, it has been awhile. The last time I visited was February and it was snowing and cold. Today though, the sky is crayon-colored and definitely Sky Blue. While I can't exactly say it is warm warm, I am sitting in a favorite spot on the front porch without a jacket. The rooster is nearby and I am hearing his periodic off-key yet proud crows which proclaim that he is quite happy about the day.

I really think I could learn some lessons from that rooster. You know, like when I awaken in the morning, I need to rise from my tangled nest of covers and proclaim in an audible voice, "Today is a good day to be alive! Now, go forth and live!"

Lately, I've been more of a mindset to stay under the covers, burrowing deeper and not wanting to deal with whatever comes my way. I am overwhelmed by phone calls, appointments to make, appointments to keep, the to-do list that has become so long that I don't even want to start it, and taxes that were due and too much paperwork to retrieve out of thin air because of my foolishness in not backing it up and losing 1 1/2 years of work. My hair was starting to stay in a permanent stand-on-end position because I keep running my fingers through it and pulling up in frustration. I have been feeling nauseous on and off most days and the knot in the pit of my stomach just seemed to never want to go away.

I don't handle stress very well. Sometimes it is better than other times, but lately, no.

I need to go back to the basics and at the very core of it is God. When I let life take over, I let my time with God fall to the back burner and I am ashamed at how easily I let that happen. My daughter, Amy, and I were texting one evening and I admitted to her how I have been falling (and sometimes pulling) away from God. She told me to get back into the Word. I listened and I asked her to keep me accountable. Send me a text every now and then and just ask "Did you read today?" or "What did you read?".

While I have begun to get back into the Word of God, I can't say that all the stress just dissipated. In some ways, I feel it more. There is a battle going on and I need to hang on to the One who created me, who loves me even when I lose my focus, mess up, and fall down again and again.

So, I sit on my porch and I think I'm going to give it a name. I learned that my Great Grandma had a little room situated off the back of her garage that she called "The Elijah Room" and this was where she studied and read the Bible. I want to look into why she called it the Elijah Room but for now, that's what I'm calling my porch. It'll be my Elijah Room, my room (when the weather is warm) to study, reflect, renew and de-stress. And to prepare for battle.

Today, what did I read? I read in Exodus 4:10-11 where Moses was talking to God and he was telling God why he was not suited for the job God was calling him to do. God pretty much said, "Hey, Moses, who created you? Did I not make you to be the way you are? And I am not calling you for this purpose? Get your head out from under those covers, go forth and live."

Yes, I paraphrased and took a little liberty with that, but there you have it. When I am nervous, tense and anxious and feel like my role, my tasks are too big, too hard and much too much, I am not only underestimating myself, I am underestimating God. He believes in me and I have to trust that He knows what He is doing.

I may need a reminder now and then, so when you see me, just ask how I greeted my morning. Was it with an off-key, yet ready-to-face-the-day crow or with silent grumbling.

Cock-A-Doodle-Doooooooooo,
Dianne

P.S. It is good to be back.