Reuniting with a Friend

 

4 August, 2024

Where does one begin when you are suddenly face-to-face with a long-lost friend? Do you just pretend like nothing ever happened and you just pick up where you left off the last time you were together? Does it get all awkward when you don’t know where to begin and so you just randomly start to talk? Do you ignore the obvious changes in the other person or do you ask about it? (Those grays coming in and a few added wrinkles…I’m a grandma-aka Nana-now!!) Whatever the case, returning back to vintageDandelion felt like running into that old friend who I hadn’t really forgotten, but maybe I had avoided for a time and now being face-to-face, it was a little awkward and time to figure out why it’s taken so long to reconnect. 

During the early years (2011-2013), writing had become therapeutic for me. It was a way that I found to talk about life and to see things in a healthier perspective; I would look for what I could learn, or how to make it positive. My brain tried to make me believe that life was at its worst, that I was the worst mom, wife, nurse, etc. Really, it wasn’t at all rational; rather, it was anxiety giving me one punch after the other. If you’ve lived with anxiety, you know what I mean. Somehow when I would write, I could make sense of things, and I realized that I was surrounded by so much that was beautiful and good. I could be honest, I could be real.  I wrote because I wanted people to know that who they saw in person was the person that I truly was when I was alone, who I was on the inside. Maybe it doesn’t make sense, but this blog helped me to be authentic to the person I was created to be.

Reading back to that day in December 2011, I wasn’t really sure how writing a blog would go. I wasn’t sure if I had anything worthwhile to say, but I knew I had to try. Honestly, I’d look at the stats and sometimes I’d base my value on that. Likes, shares, etc…it’s an easy trap to fall into, eh? When I allowed my blog to dwindle down slowly to nothing, it had little to do with feeling like I had anything to say, and a lot to do with thinking all those irrational things that my brain would tell me: that what I wrote was boring, that nobody really cared, and really, what was the point? 

Even getting through so many struggles and having learned so much, all that just goes to show that I am still learning, growing, and becoming. I’m a work in progress, layered and nuanced. I’m still that woman from 2011, but I’m also not the same. Whether you’re an old friend, or a new one, if you’re here, I’m glad you’re along for the ride! And even if I’m the only one who reads what I wrote in 1, 5, 10, or even 50 years from now, I’m okay with that. Rereading bits of my story is what inspired me to write again; I want to remember and reflect. If I don’t write it down, that old friend may be entirely forgotten. I don’t have a specific destination in mind, but if you’re up for a little adventure, you’re welcome here anytime. We have SOOO much catching up to do! 

Love, Dianne