Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Fern



I am here, hidden beneath the porous damp soil
waiting for warmth and golden light to filter through.
Waiting to stretch and push though,
but barriers stand in my way:
Fear. Insecurity. Isolation. Depression. Myself.
I'm waiting, but I'm not sure what it is I am waiting for. 

I hear a Voice. 
He knows my fears, my insecurities, my loneliness. 
He knows Me. 
But I am still afraid.
The darkness is where I have been, it is what I know. 
This is my dwelling place, what I think is safe. 

"Go."
A voice breathes in my ear. 
"I am with you. I have gone before you. I know what is ahead.
Trust Me."

Tentative. Cautious. Slow. 
I lift my head and open my eyes. 
Light.
I see it filter through the cracks in the dark cloak
I have surrounded myself with.
Warmth. 
Touching my face, soft and gentle like butterfly wings.

Reaching up to finger the light and part the shadows,
I find myself not just reaching, but pushing through. 
It hurts and I want to go back. 
There is no going back, only forward. 

"Onward and Upward." 
I hear whispers in the breeze;
it is making my hair sweep across my cheek. 
Brushing it back, I feel the tears that have fallen unnoticed. 
"Trust Me."

I reach out.
He reaches back.
I am exposed, naked, raw in the dappled sunlight.
He does not turn away or leave me to stand alone. 
I am warm for the first time. 
Truly warm. 

More, I want more of this. 
I don't want to stay curled inwards. 
One limb at a time
I stretch as far as I can.
I find that I can breathe like I never could before. 

Inhale.
Exhale. 
It is good. 
"You are good." 
What? 
"You are good. You are my creation. My daughter. I love you.
I see you and I know my creation is very good."

"Look and see."
Turning my head from left to right, looking ahead and behind,
my eyes widen. 
I am not alone. 
All around are others just like me in spite of the differences of gender, race, ethnicity, and color. 
Different stories, fears that vary, hurts that are many,
and joys that we celebrate, 
but we are here together. 
Together with our Creator. 

"Onward and Upward, my daughter.
There will be storms. It won't be easy. 
There will be tears and the darkness will threaten to engulf.
But you will not be alone if you just reach out
and hang on tight. 
I am here. 
I have always been here.
Make me your dwelling place. 

Yes. 
I am Yours. 

1How lovely is your dwelling place, LORD Almighty! 2My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. 3Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young- a place near your altar, LORD Almighty, my King and my God. 4Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you. 5Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. 6As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. 7They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

New International Version , Copyright 2011-2017 Biblica


With Love, 
Dianne