Only 12.5 Years Later…

When I look back 12.5 years to what I wrote, I read about my goals of which I stated, “I have many.”  The fact that I have many goals has not changed over the years, although some of those goals have changed. I know I have changed and rather than fearing that, I’ve strapped in and decided that since I’m here for the duration, I’m going to do my best to enjoy the ride! 

What were some of those goals from 2011 and how did I do at meeting them? 

-Finish our family scrapbook for our vacation to Rhode Island. I can’t say with 100% confidence that that is completed, but maybe it’s something to check in on, so I can check it off my list. 

-Losing “those last 15 pounds”. To answer this one, it’s going to be a blog post all of its own. Let me just say that my thoughts and feelings, my attitude around weight loss and my relationship with food has changed dramatically, the last 2-3 years especially.  

-Cleaning out the attic. Well, I still have an attic and there are still a lot of items up there; maybe more than ever as my children grew up and moved out, leaving childhood treasures behind. There is always a good excuse, like it’s too hot up there or too cold, but maybe it is time to stop making excuses and tackle that space. One thing I have learned, especially in the last two years was that if you want results, you have to do the work.

-In 2011, I mentioned “lifelong goals that required determination, stamina and fearlessness, like learning to ride a horse,  learning to ballroom dance, and not only writing, but publishing a book.” It is interesting to me that I have those things listed as “lifelong goals”, and I think what I meant by that was that these were things that I had wanted to do for a large part of my lifetime, not that they would take me a lifetime to do. 

So, how did I do? I did learn to ride a horse better, thanks to my son Ryan. There may have been a few times that I went faster than a walk, and while it was exhilarating, it was also a little terrifying, but I think there’s hope for me to keep growing. 

Since writing that in 2011, a gift from my husband was ballroom dance classes and I blogged about that. While we don’t take the opportunity to showcase our ballroom skills (you’re welcome!😉😄) we did dance at a wedding or two, and if I get the opportunity to sign us up for some swing dance classes, I think I will. That seemed to be what suited us the best. 

-I have not written a book, but I have resumed this blog, and for right now, that’s good. Writing has always helped me to hone my skills of observation, my love of detail, my ability to look for the good, the joyful, the challenging, the life that is all around, and yes, that includes the difficult. It has always helped me keep a healthier perspective. 

17 August, 2024. Do I have goals today? Short-term? Longer-term? I do. Here’s a few, not in any particular order. Writing them down is helpful and somehow helps me to stay accountable and gets them accomplished. 

-Simplify our belongings (note to self: start with the attic)

-Solo backpacking trip on Laurel Highlands Hiking Trail (this one from my first thru-hike with friends in 2021) 

-Learn to bake really good bread. 

-Compete in a Powerlifting competition.

-Run another marathon (from my first marathon 10/2023)

-Spend more weekends traveling to see my children and grandchildren. 

-Speaking of grandkids: be a Nana that is fun, fierce, snugglya, compassionate, kind, and authentic.

Goals. Dreams. Bucket Lists. Life is short. Live it large. 

Love, Dianne

Onward. 

One Pint At aTime

 

As a kid, I remember watching my dad place a little red teardrop shaped pin at the top of a curtain that hung at the bottom of my grandparents staircase. I’m not sure how old I was, but I know that I had a feeling that this pin was special, that it meant something. It wasn’t until years later, that I learned that those little pins represented the blood my dad had donated to the Red Cross. I thought he was quite the superhero dad! When I asked dad how much blood he had donated over the years, he wasn’t totally sure, but his humble answer was, “a couple of gallons”.  I have a cool dad. 

 Inspired by this, when I was in high school, we had the opportunity to participate in a blood drive, and I gave it a try. Feeling incredibly nervous and worried that I would pass out or throw up, I entered the gymnasium where the tables were lined up and the volunteers were ready to take our blood. Aside from all the bad vampire jokes, I honestly don’t remember it being that bad, and I actually did quite well with it, but out of an unfounded anxiety over needles and fainting, I did not donate again until October 2020. The world was in the midst of Covid and it just felt like something positive I could do. Time to overcome those fears! 

Since then, I’ve tried to donate a total of 14 times with only 8 times being able to do so as the finger stick hemoglobin needs to be 12.5 g/dL or above and I didn’t always hit the mark. It can get discouraging when you’re doing all you can (even taking Flintstone Vitamins with Iron 😖) to do something good and time after time, it doesn’t work out. 

 Four years. It’s been nearly four years and between the low hemoglobin, getting a tattoo, and then donation centers changing their times and I couldn’t line it up with my schedule, I finally hit my first gallon of A+ donated!! 

I could have given up when 3x in a row I was too low and couldn’t donate. I could’ve decided to stop altogether when it became difficult to find the time in my schedule to go.  Getting a tattoo was a valid reason not to go for the specified time period, but I could have somehow allowed that become an ongoing excuse as it had disrupted my routine. 

I can’t…I don’t have time…it’s not convenient. Reminds me a little of everyday life and how easy it is to make excuses when the going gets difficult. 

If I’d given up, I’d never have reached a gallon. What is you’re “gallon” that you’re working towards? Don’t give up now. Make a plan and take the steps to get to the next step. After donating last evening, I scheduled my next two appointments and penciled all the tentative dates for next year in my planner. That gallon didn’t just happen; it was one pint at a time. 

Alas, the Red Cross no longer give out pins but they do sometimes send you an Amazon gift card. I saw a vender has some vintage pins for sale on eBay… think they’d take an Amazon gift card in exchange? 

Onward, Dianne

Reuniting with a Friend

 

4 August, 2024

Where does one begin when you are suddenly face-to-face with a long-lost friend? Do you just pretend like nothing ever happened and you just pick up where you left off the last time you were together? Does it get all awkward when you don’t know where to begin and so you just randomly start to talk? Do you ignore the obvious changes in the other person or do you ask about it? (Those grays coming in and a few added wrinkles…I’m a grandma-aka Nana-now!!) Whatever the case, returning back to vintageDandelion felt like running into that old friend who I hadn’t really forgotten, but maybe I had avoided for a time and now being face-to-face, it was a little awkward and time to figure out why it’s taken so long to reconnect. 

During the early years (2011-2013), writing had become therapeutic for me. It was a way that I found to talk about life and to see things in a healthier perspective; I would look for what I could learn, or how to make it positive. My brain tried to make me believe that life was at its worst, that I was the worst mom, wife, nurse, etc. Really, it wasn’t at all rational; rather, it was anxiety giving me one punch after the other. If you’ve lived with anxiety, you know what I mean. Somehow when I would write, I could make sense of things, and I realized that I was surrounded by so much that was beautiful and good. I could be honest, I could be real.  I wrote because I wanted people to know that who they saw in person was the person that I truly was when I was alone, who I was on the inside. Maybe it doesn’t make sense, but this blog helped me to be authentic to the person I was created to be.

Reading back to that day in December 2011, I wasn’t really sure how writing a blog would go. I wasn’t sure if I had anything worthwhile to say, but I knew I had to try. Honestly, I’d look at the stats and sometimes I’d base my value on that. Likes, shares, etc…it’s an easy trap to fall into, eh? When I allowed my blog to dwindle down slowly to nothing, it had little to do with feeling like I had anything to say, and a lot to do with thinking all those irrational things that my brain would tell me: that what I wrote was boring, that nobody really cared, and really, what was the point? 

Even getting through so many struggles and having learned so much, all that just goes to show that I am still learning, growing, and becoming. I’m a work in progress, layered and nuanced. I’m still that woman from 2011, but I’m also not the same. Whether you’re an old friend, or a new one, if you’re here, I’m glad you’re along for the ride! And even if I’m the only one who reads what I wrote in 1, 5, 10, or even 50 years from now, I’m okay with that. Rereading bits of my story is what inspired me to write again; I want to remember and reflect. If I don’t write it down, that old friend may be entirely forgotten. I don’t have a specific destination in mind, but if you’re up for a little adventure, you’re welcome here anytime. We have SOOO much catching up to do! 

Love, Dianne

It’s got me thinking…

From 2011…

…to 2024

 1 August 2024

I read recently that the trend of today is not to read the written word, but to watch videos, small clips, reels, stories…all the things that have made social media what it is today.  What is ironic is that I “read “that opinion. It got me thinking .

On that same day, I was asked a question about what I would be doing for an occupation if I wasn’t doing what I was currently? My initial thought, without much reflection, is that I would be an author. It got me thinking.

I mentioned to the person who asked me the occupation question that I had once written a blog, and I shared the link. It has been quite awhile since I have visited this site and I clicked on Dec 2, 2011 to see what my 41-year-old self had to say. And then I kept reading, seated in the very same spot where I had been that cold December day to write my first blog post. I looked different, my kitchen was different, and my household dynamic has changed from two parents and five children ranging an age from 8 to 20 all living under one roof, to an empty nest that is anything but empty.

Will anybody read my written words from 2011, or from 2024? Will it even matter someday? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I’ll never know, but I know that I enjoyed looking over and rereading from that time in my life, what I was living, thinking, feeling.  I am glad that I have a written word to remind me of where I’ve been, who I was, and how that has helped me to be who I am today. I am a little sad that I haven’t written anything since 2020 in this format. Maybe vintage dandelion is still a place to inspire me to inspire you. It’s got me thinking; I hope it gets you thinking too. 

Love, Dianne