Rolling Out The Red Carpet

I had a really good conversation today with my daughter-in-law today. And you know, I still don't care for the term "daughter-in-law" because it's too formal, but then I don't want to be all "you're my daughter" because she does have a mother already who loves her too. How about this: I had a really good conversation with my joy-daughter today. Hmmm. I'll think about it. She definitely brings me joy and has been a joy to get to know and I know the joy she inspires in Aaron.

Anyhow, that being said, I did have a good conversation with Lisa-Anna today. It really made me think about cultural differences and how even the ways we were raised brings into play our adult expectations and what we each consider "normal". Culture isn't just what comes from another country, sometimes it's the differences in our own backyards.

For instance, let's take being a guest in someone's home. For me, it's definitely something I like to prepare for; I prefer to know at least a little in advance what the plan is. That's just me. It's not wrong to feel this way but it does make spontaneous hospitality difficult for me to adapt to. I do not turn into a gracious Martha Stewart, Carol Brady, or Mrs. Leave It to Beaver easily. I instead become quiet, frustrated and yes, even rude. I don't know how to react. I do eventually come around to the idea that there are people in my home and I need to turn on some element of hospitality. I am trying, I am. Let's just say that it is not a gift that I was blessed with. It is more of an acquired thing that I am still trying to learn. (Thank goodness, Leo had a mom who always just set out another plate, always had extra and never made a surprise visitor uncomfortable. That man keeps me sane, he truly does. He helps me keep my perspective on a level that matches reality.)

For somebody else though, hospitality comes easy. They may love having people just drop by and they are always prepared with a little extra food, snacks, etc. A messy house doesn't bother them. Hey, it's life! Let's live it up a little! Along with this, they love visiting other people's homes too. It's being a part of a group, a crowd and doing something, anything. Life is a stage and some people are just so talented at being the entertainment.

I could be a little jealous of that. Even when I go visit someone or go to a family gathering, I like to blend in. When I get there, I don't want to "arrive"; I want to enter unnoticed and just like to find my place quietly. Once I adapt to my surroundings, I warm up and enter in. People tend to think I am an extrovert and I think when I was younger I was more. Now, not so much. I get a little sick to my stomach in new situations, new people. I even get a little nervous with people that I do know and are my family. I don't know why, I just do.

Maybe because I've put my foot in my mouth one time too many.

So, sometimes when I have visitors, I treat them the way I want to be treated. I don't want to be noticed so I don't make a big fuss. I don't see the need for a big to-do. I'd rather just say, "Hey, glad you're here" while I keep mashing the potatoes or setting the table.

We dare not trust our wit for making our house pleasant to our friend, so we buy ice cream. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you've ever been to my house, and I don't roll out the red carpet, don't be offended. My red carpet just looks different from yours. I do want my home to be a welcoming place. I want my kid's friends to come over and hang out. I just don't want to have to make it a big deal because then it becomes a really big stress for me and I freak out just a little. I may have even had to leave the room and go breath deeply, counting to 45 or 145 to get a hold of my nerves.

Yes, that has happened.

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were. ~Author Unknown

God's working on me and in me in this matter of hospitality. He brings me Lisa-Anna who helps me see different perspectives and gives me insight into other cultures. City vs Rural,  Mennonite vs Non., Italian vs German, Man vs. Woman....you get the picture. We are all different. Sometimes it is not whether one person is "right" and the other "wrong". It is more about understanding each other's point of view, allowing differences to be acceptable, and not putting everyone into a mold.

I'm learning, hopefully growing in this area. Not that I am sending out a blank invitation to stop by to test how well I am learning or anything, but you are welcome  in my home. Truly. Just don't mind the red carpet; it's probably not vacuumed.

1 Peter 4:9  (NIV) Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Love,
Dianne

Wanted: CPR

Prepare
    :to make (someone or something) ready for some activity, purpose, use, etc.
    :to make yourself ready for something that you will be doing, something that       you expect to happen, etc
    :to make or create (something) so that it is ready for use 

The week of Christmas, my Mac laptop decided it was taking a break. Not a self-imposed hiatus from Facebook or a pause in my life from all things technical or digital, but a complete and total vacation from everything. I keep telling myself it is just a vacation and the Mac will be back, but after its first checkup with the Geek Squad, I am feeling like this is going to turn into so much more than a mere checkout.

There was no sign of life at all they said. They are shipping it to a specialized Mac service center in KY for further diagnostics. I am afraid it needs urgent CPR.

That is Computer Power Restoration in case you were wondering. CPR.

Not that I can't function without the Mac because as you can see, I am still on-line. I am using the family laptop with a Windows operation system and while I prefer my laptop, this is okay. I just had to get used to the mouse, the way the screen moved, the crazy pop-up ads, etc. Kinda like driving a manual transmission for years and switching to an automatic for a little then, then going back to a manual. Pushing the brake thinking it is the clutch. Trying to shift down and then realizing you just went from drive to neutral. Annoying yes, but doable.

My biggest stress in all this is that I was not faithful in backing up my information. My last official big backup? March 2014. When your financial records are on there, well, that's bad. I'll be the first to say that I am not the most organized person. I simply was not prepared.

And there you have it.

On a local radio station, they have been talking since the first of the year about having "a word" that is your word for the year, instead of a New Year's Resolution. I have decided that my word is Prepare. Here's an example: If I had been prepared, I would have had "my word" by or on January 1st. No, it is January 10th and I finally have chosen my word.

If I had only backed up my laptop, I'd have been prepared for it's demise.
If I had only prepared something to eat, I wouldn't have been eating Cheezits in my car yesterday for breakfast.
If I had been keeping up all year with paperwork, I would be better prepared for tax season and FAFSA time.
If I had prepared for Winter Camp, I would've seen before the day camp started that I had not received the email parent packet and could have sent for it and had it ready before I was at camp.
If I had only prepared for my kid's college years, I wouldn't be stressing about the finances now.

In my defense, I thought I still had lots of time before the college years. But a crazy thing happened when I wasn't looking. They grew up. Sigh.

I am finding that I am more unorganized, scatterbrained and crazy because I have not prepared. The  plan that is in my head is in too many pieces. It is making me grouchy, angry at myself, and generally just not a nice person to be around right now. Something has got to change around here.

It's funny, but with my job, I am generally prepared. I get everything ready the night before. My clothes are laid out, my lunch is packed, and I have something for breakfast waiting to be pulled out of the fridge in the morning. I have a bag with anything I may need during a 16 hour shift packed and ready. Apparently a really good motivator for me is sleep. I don't want to get up any earlier than I have to!

I could get into retirement, estate planning and having a will too. It's not that I think this is unimportant; it just hasn't been gotten around to yet. PREPARE. It is important. I don't want to always be focused on the "what if's", and the future, but I could definitely do better, and it would make living in the present so much nicer because I would be getting rid of an element of worry that hangs over my head like a black cloud and a boulder on my shoulders.

As much as I want to be a spontaneous, fun, live vicariously kind of gal, there is a time and a place for that and there is a time to be prepared. Scrambling at the last minute for papers that I knew I had just seen and now can't find and I need for an important meeting...no fun. Saying to my kids, "Hey, let's go see The Hobbit tonight!", that's fun.

I may need CPR. That is Comprehensive Preparedness and Readiness. Or, in layman's terms
"Ready, Set, Go!"

Love,
Dianne

Falling for The Fall Guy

I am feeling a little vintage right now. Leo and Heather are taking Amy back to college tonight and it is just me and Ryan here. Not that being with my 11 year old son makes me feel old; in fact, he keeps my young, but I am having a flashback to my youth and that is making me feel old-ish. Actually, I'll stick with vintage or classic.

We spent the afternoon being lazy. He played HayDay on my phone, I read a book and took a nap. Now, this evening I decided to put on a DVD series that I had at the house and just hadn't taken the time to watch.

Does anybody else remember "The Fall Guy"? With Lee Majors? Well, I do.

November 4, 1981 was the air date. I was 11 years old and this, along with Magnum, P.I. became favorite shows to watch. I thought I'd share the joy with Ryan and have us a little mother-son bonding time.

He thought the cars were cool, but that they looked like old cars. Old cars. Well, okay then. I always thought the pickup truck that Colt Seavers drove was one rad truck. I think I even had a model truck, one of the Stomper 4x4's that was brown and thus became "The Fall Guy" truck.

And yes, I said rad up there. I am feeling the 80's vibe. Like totally.

You know, I had to explain to Ryan what a CB radio was. Nothing like needing a cell phone to call for backup and all you have is your CB radio. (Citizens Band radio in case you were wondering).
10-4 Good Buddy.

As we watched, it was funny to see certain things. Like the baby in the backseat. Just laying on the back seat. No infant car seat in sight at all. Wow, have times changed. We won't even get into the hair styles and clothing although there were some that actually looked a little like trends I've seen in more recent years.

As for the car chases, all I can say is I am remembering some of why we liked watching the show. Driving on 2 wheels, jumping bridges, car chases that could only be described as epic as the phrase "burning rubber" takes on new life. It is also coming back to me why I would think riding in helicopters is a little scary.  And this was all just in the pilot episode.

The hour is late now. Ryan is wound down and ready for bed. Leo and Heather are headed home and I pray as they "put the pedal to the medal" (as the Fall Guy would say) that they will have a safe trip. As for me, I'm going to brush my teeth and get my vintage self off to bed.

Good Night,
Dianne

A Change of Plan

I got up this morning and was ready to go out the door on-time by 5:50AM. Then Leo tells me that it sounds like rain outside. Okay. I don't mind rain. 

But the cars have a layer of icing on them. That, I do mind. But hey, maybe it's just the cars that are iced. I could walk on the sidewalk and the grass. I'll just take my time. 

Gingerly, I made my way up the driveway and I could feel the wheels wanting to wander, but still, this is the driveway and it's not like the salt trucks venture down my lane. The main roads will be okay. Surely they will be okay. I mean, just because I rarely follow the weather doesn't mean that nobody else did.

Turning onto 669, I inch the speedometer up to 5, then 8 mph, topping out at 10 mph, and slide ever so smoothly until I am sideways in the road. This. Is. Not. Good. I check my mirrors quickly and note that there is no one else about and I proceed to straighten out my car and then back up all the way to my driveway. Turning in, I park the car and call work to let them know I would be late. 

I am trying not to feel sick to my stomach but I can feel the cords tightening and the churning begin. I hate being late. I don't want to cause someone else stress. I don't know what else to do except wait it out until the roads have been salted. I hate this. 

So now, I wait. I am not much good at this business of being patient. My shoulders tense, my stomach is still feeling rebellious and I get this crazy shivering that drives me crazy because I am not really even that cold. Coffee doesn't even appeal to me. I just want to know when I can get back onto the road safely. I have a job to do. 

I can't do my job if I end up in the Emergency Room. Or worse. I know that but it doesn't make this any easier.

Lord, You have a plan and it is not always mine. Let me be okay with that. Your time is not my time. Help me to wait with grace. Amen

Love, Dianne

Swiss Vs. Swill

When a menu item is described and ingredients are named, an error in spelling can make the difference between having a melty slice of Swiss cheese topping your choice of meat or having it dripping with leftover kitchen scraps more befitting a pig, otherwise known as Ham 'n Swill. Yes, spelling makes a difference. Thank you auto-correct.

We've all read the funny compilations of texts gone wrong that occur when a smart phone takes control and thinks it knows just what you want to say. The other week, for instance, I was texting Aaron trying to get a better idea on gifts for his wife Lisa-Anna. When he responded with a list of items that made sense, I was grateful. But then he ended with "...or any car-themed stuff", and I was a little mystified. With my eyebrows raised, I said aloud, "What does car-themed mean??" I mean, I think she likes her car and everything but to buy her car-themed stuff? I wasn't so sure.

Maybe he just meant that she needed an ice-scraper, an air freshener or car mats. To me, this was not a gift that said, "I love you." It said, "Car". That's it. Car.

So I replied to Aaron. "Car-themed?"
He responded. "Lol cat haha."

Yes, a letter or a few letters can totally change what is being said.

Now, back to the sandwich. That really happened. On Facebook, the sandwich of the day for a local eatery was posted with a description. Swiss was auto-corrected to Swill and suddenly the special or the day became strange. In case you've never looked it up, here's the definition:

Swill (noun): kitchen refuse and scraps of waste food mixed with water for feeding to pigs.
synonyms: pigswill, mash, slops, scraps, refuse, scourings, leftovers; archaic hogwash
"swill for the pigs"


Mmmmm. It's almost as bad as the auto-correct I once had changing "feta cheese" to "fetal cheese". Mmmmm.

(For the record, the post describing the Swill Sandwich was deleted.)

So often, I say something and it comes out wrong. Maybe not the wrong words, but words that are meant one way but come out sounding like something else. That happens a lot in my house with teasing or even just in general conversation. Someone always takes what is said either seriously or in the wrong way. A simple sigh can turn into a "I hate my life" groan without even meaning too. Feelings get hurt and sometimes the words hurt more than the sticks and stones.

I need a reminder to keep my words gentle, my tone soft, my body language nonthreatening. When discipline is needed, I want it to be effective but I don't want to resort to meanness. Just because I am tired, stressed or scared is no excuse for harshness.

Ephesians 4:29English Standard Version 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Proverbs 16:24 English Standard Version (ESV)

24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb,

sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Proverbs 15:1English Standard Version (ESV)

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

I don't want my words to be swill. I want to give the best to my family, my children. And if I mess up again (and I'm pretty sure I will) I'm letting my words here be my reminder. I want to be accountable. I am responsible for the words that come out of my mouth, not auto-correct. 

Love,

Dianne

A Blank Slate

A blank page. It all starts with a blank page, or a blank slate if you will.

I sit. I look at it. I randomly tap my fingers with the resulting ajdfa;djfalkdsjfa;dlsjf.  I take a sip of coffee. A blank page can be daunting. Not just blank, but lacking. To fill it with words is a task that sometimes overwhelms me. The ideas are there sometimes; it is the putting them down on paper that I get stuck at. Not because I can't put them together, but I don't want to put them together wrong. I don't want to be offensive when no offense was meant. I don't want to disappoint or not live up to even my own expectations.

I take a bite of eggs, scrambled with sausage, mushrooms, red peppers and olives.
I am easily distracted. That makes filling a blank page harder to do too. Heather needs picked up at the church after an overnight campout and Ryan wants to look at books detailing how to build a treehouse. I step away to do those important tasks. Yes, distracted. And my eggs are getting cold.

fdfskldfjkldjf;ljd. Okay. A New Year. 2015. A year with promise and possibility. A calendar that is relatively blank and here I am again, back to the blank. Not only is 2015 blank, but my every single day is. This is the time of year that all the stores target us to improve, to organize, to exercise, to eat better, move more and be " a better you!"

The thing is, I could have started all that on November 13th and I would already be a month and a half ahead of everyone else.

I found a verse this morning that I want to share. Here it is (the emphasis is my own):

Colossians 2:14-17
14 the slate wiped clean, that old arrest warrant canceled and nailed to Christ's Cross. 15 He stripped all the spiritual tyrants in the universe of their sham authority at the Cross and marched them naked through the streets. 16 So don't put up with anyone pressuring you in details of diet, worship services, or holy days. 17 All those things are mere shadows cast before what was to come; the substance is Christ.

I could, and do, get caught up in the New Year hype. I want a new start, a fresh beginning. I get so tired of the baggage of the past that I carry; that baggage that times I do put down for a season, but it always seems to find me again.

What if I believed that my old arrest warrant was cancelled? That is was nailed to the cross with Jesus. Not only is my slate wiped clean, but I am stripped naked and exposed. God sees me for who I am and He loves me. Me.

Whew.

Kinda takes my breath away.

My slate is clean. The pressure that I feel "to do", "to be" needs to be overshadowed with "the substance of Christ." Ah, now that's a goal for 2015.

My paper is no longer blank. The words are there and I pray that in some way, you hear the message. Not my message, but God's. He loves you. Whew. Take a breath and just think about that.

Have a Blessed New Year Day!

Love,
Dianne