Peace, Quiet , Rest & Snow

Peace, Quiet, Rest and Snow

P,Q,R & S

Because this week was anything but that

(except for the snow part),

and I am behind on days and letters, 

I am grouping them together. 

Again. 

So... my week was really more like this: 

Packed, Quickly, Running and yes, Snow 

Today was the first day that I could get up in the morning 

and go absolutely nowhere. And that is only because Ryan's Musical Theater class was cancelled. And because I had a husband and daughters who were willing to do a little driving around for the things that weren't cancelled. I felt like a lady of leisure. 

I don't know why some weeks just get packed so very quickly. 

What starts out as a blank slate soon gets penciled in with 

orthodontist appointments,

hair appointments, 

scheduled work,

work to cover call-offs,

dance practice,

theater class, 

church activities,

etc, etc, etc. 

The running begins and I wonder if the neighbors wonder if they should put up a traffic light at the end of our driveway. 

But then,

SNOW. 

I like snow. 

(When I don't have to go out in it that is.)

Today was my day for a little PEACE.

I could have slept in this morning, but I didn't. 

I enjoyed a slower paced morning,

 drinking coffee and working a crossword puzzle. 

Just me and a little think-time. 

For the first time this week, I got to enjoy some time with Amy, home for college just for a week. I miss my girl. 

Yes, today was good. 

Today was my day for a little QUIET.

I worked in my sewing corner and Amy worked on her art. Sometimes conversation happened, but sometimes it was just... QUIET. 

Yes, today was good. 

Today was my day for a little REST. 

I always have something to do. 

Always. 

Usually, it is work-related. 

Almost always, it gets pushed to the top of the list. 

Today, it didn't because all week long it was at the top. 

I needed some kind of creative outlet. 

To me, that is restful. 

Snow falling.

Gentle and quiet.

Barely a sound, yet leaving its mark.

A reminder to me that sometimes 

it is the quiet things that make the most impact. 

The ground is white, imperfections covered. 

I know the snow causes problems and delays.

The roads are slick and peace seems elusive. 

But in the midst of it all, somehow it is restful.

Somehow. 

At least for today.

For you, 

I encourage you to take a day or part of a day,

and seek peace, quiet and rest. 

It will make the jam packed-full, quick-paced, 

running, running, running weeks 

so much better. 

And soon, 

instead of snow,

it'll be sunshine!

Love,

Dianne

Messes Nurture Opportunity

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L....

MNO

You know when you sing the "ABC's" how the middle part all runs together? Really, it's more like
"LMNOP..." but since I am behind on Letter M and N and today is O; I better get a move on.

Messes Nurture Opportunity. 

I was reminded of today of memories of when my five children were all little, ranging from newborn to 11 years old. The feeling of exhaustion that never quite left and the days that ran together just like LMNOP. Between the piano lessons, ballet classes, going back to school for my BSN, working full-time at the hospital, helping out on the farm by doing the paperwork, trying to keep the house clean and the family clothed and fed....well, you get the idea.

Life with a Little Gang can get Overwhelmingly overwhelming. 
When sleep becomes broken up, or nonexistent, life becomes Messy. Literally messy because the house that in the age of B.C (before children) that was more-or-less clean, has become a train wreck of farm animals, rubber bands, blocks, markers, crayons, paper scraps, dress-up clothes, doll babies, barbies, marbles, Lego's, Lincoln Logs, Matchbox cars, burp cloths, diapers, wipies, binkies, onesies, swaddlers, breast pump supplies and at least three weeks worth of laundry in various stages of clean.

Sometimes when I was in the midst of all of this, I really did not like my self very much. I felt like a failure as a mom, as a wife, and as a Christian so much of the time. My kids did not sleep through the night on the schedule's outlined by all the best baby doctors. They did not eat organic anything unless dirt counted. They did not always get along and I was sure that no one else could fight like my kids. There were times I felt quite bonded with them but then I realized it was just something sticky that I  hadn't washed off. They had a radar for any clean spot in the house and would seek and destroy in 0.6 seconds. Quiet time? Hahahahahahahahaha. What was that?

I found some journal entries (one of many) from during one of these messy times. (I was pregnant with Heather.)

 "I feel horrible. Like I'm in a whirlwind and can't get out. I feel so overwhelmed with the idea of another little one. Amy is so demanding these days...I just don't know what I'll do with her sometimes. The other times I love her like crazy and I can't imagine ever being angry at her. I feel warped....I feel like such a sinner, so unworthy of God and His blessings. Sometimes I feel like I can't pray. I guess it's then that I really need to pray the most....Lord, as you can see I'm a major project..." 

"...I pushed them away with my words and actions. I was angry at Aaron cause he kept whining about stuff and he keeps climbing in the walls and furniture. I worked housecleaning the living room, including wiping fingerprints and footprints off the walls. Then he climbs on them. AAAAARGHHHH!!!!!!!...." 

As I read through more of this journal and the months after she was born, I almost don't even want to remember. I was at such a low point and so discouraged. But in that swirling whirlwind, there was something else. Boundless, endless grace.

"The kids just came up and "loved" on me and we cuddled on the bed "just cause he loves me" says Aaron. They forgive me and love me even though I'm such a dumbhead. How? A child is more like Jesus than I could hope to be." 

Yes. Boundless, endless grace when I least deserved it.

God stepped in. He Nurtured me. He gave me Opportunity.
("An amount of time or a situation in which something can be done.")

Somehow, God saw fit to make me a mother. He believed in me. To all the young mothers out there who feel like they are the worst mom ever, He believes in you too. Let me just say this.

You. Are. Not. Alone.

I have had so many moments I would like to take back and redo. I have lost it over a three year old dumping not one, but two, new bottles of shampoo down the drain. I have cried right along with my little one as I wondered if she would ever sleep through the night. I have taken the kids to school with one (or more) in tears because of how horribly the morning had gone. I have had many nights of staying up with one, two, or three sick children as we all camped out in the living room with buckets, towels, Tylenol and thermometers.

But God gave me this Opportunity. In those moments, I prayed. And sometimes I just cried because I had no words and He was there.

He still is. And He is still giving this Mama the opportunity to serve her family, to learn about grace in both how to give and to receive. Over the years, I have realized that this is a lesson I need to be reminded of daily. Some days, hourly. Or by the minute, especially on the days where it all runs together like "LMNOP".

Love,
Dianne

Little Late

Yesterday, Day 12, was Valentine's Day and the letter was L. It is rather an obvious thing, but love starts with this lovely letter.

Too obvious.
So, an even better word, since I seem to be quite good at this is: Late. 
You may not believe this, but being late takes talent.

Okay, it's been an hour since I wrote that and I'll admit it. I can not think of a single way that being late takes talent. Not one. There are however a few reasons why being late is a good thing.

1. When a sharp comeback would really knock your opponent off their feet and you just can't think of one until it is too late, you may have just saved a relationship.

2. You walk into church late and the best seats in the back are taken so you have to sit up front.

3. It is that time of the month and you are late. The little pink lines confirm the results and a baby is on the way!

**This is not me**

4. You stay up late and are able to receive a midnight text from your daughter at college who also happens to still be awake.

5. You are late for school and miss the bus so your mom has to drive you to school. She may pretend she is irritated but it is really okay because it is bonding time.

As you can see, being late is not always a bad thing, but in general, it is better to be on time.
So, this Day 12, Letter L and sometimes I think this describes me.

However, it is never too late to start a new habit!

Love,
Dianne

Kyan the Tenderhearted

I know, I know, it is Day 11, Letter K. I asked my three youngest children for "k" words and this is what I got: 

knowing

knowledge 

kindness

knight

kiss

kinetic (this one was from Leo. Thanks. I had to look that one up to really see what it means.)

In the Kingdom of Kievelli, a young, thin lad with a lock of sandy hair over one eye, held very still as he crouched beneath the low hanging branches of the ancient apple tree on the edge of the barley field. The stag was coming out of the forest about twenty paces off to his left and he knew he may not have this good of a chance again. Kyan was nearly twelve years old and had yet to accomplish this feat unlike his older brothers, his father and his grandfather who had all brought down their first stag before their twelfth year. Kyan's birthday was three days hence and he was feeling the pressure to succeed. 

His arrow was nocked, his hands steady even though his heart was not. Beating wildly in his chest, he felt each beat and heard it as a faint whooshing sound in his ears. Surely the young stag must hear it too. Kyan drew in a quiet breath to calm himself, letting it out slowly so the wispy streams of white fog wouldn't be noticed. 

The last few years were spent, in part, training him for this very moment. Kyan had the knowledge and even the skill to do what needed to be done, but he just couldn't ever quite bring himself to the point of execution. His father said it was time that he proved himself. His oldest brother said he was afraid to be a man. Kyan didn't know what he thought. Knowing what he did about himself though, he wondered if his hesitancy didn't have something to do with an occurance that happened when he was about 7 years old.

He and his mother had been walking to the village to get needed supplies and they had come across a wounded rabbit in the road. Kyan had not liked to see it in pain; it made him sad. He watched as his mother very gently picked it up and using a piece of cloth torn from her underskirt, she cleaned the wound and then bound it. He was touched by her kindness and something in him changed that day.
Life was more than the hunt, but what?

At age 7, a boy could enter into service as a page to a knight but Kyan's parents couldn't afford to do this. He remained at home and his father who had aspired to be a knight, never making it past squire after being wounded in battle, taught him what he had learned with the hope that maybe Kyan could move up the ranks in a few years if he proved himself worthy. The problem was this: He didn't know if being a knight was what he aspired to be. He found himself to be at a crossroads and right now, the stag was in his cross-hairs.

Converting to kinetic energy, the arrow shot from the string, sinking deep into the stag's shoulder. For a moment, it stood looking stunned before falling to the ground slowly. Kyan closed his eyes for a moment, giving thanks to God for His provision, for while he hated the killing, he knew his mother would be grateful as meat was not common in their household. Rising from his crouched position, Kyan prepared to dress out the stag.

The sky was just showing the first of the evening stars when Kyan came into the yard, the stag on a pallet he had made from branches to making dragging easier. His mother came out of the house, wiping her hands on the front of her skirts before coming to meet him. She alone knew how difficult this had been for her tenderhearted boy and she gave him a kiss on his forehead, pushing that same errant lock of hair out of the way. Knight or not, he was her boy who was nearly a man. What his future held was not certain, but she knew his heart and that he had given it to God and in that there was certainty.

(The End...at least for now.)

Love,
Dianne

Je t'aime

The 10th letter of the alphabet is J.
I tried to think of  "J" words and what I could write about.
There's juggling, June-bugs (ewww), juniper and Jupiter.
And then there is jack-in-the-box, Jericho, jump and joy.

I could juggle June-bugs.
I could jump for joy.
But I think, since Valentine's Day is just around the corner
I'll just say Je t'aime.


Earlier today I wrote about the letter "I" and interestingly enough, the French word for "I" is "Je".
This is one of the few things I remember from two years of high school French class. That and how to ask for the bathroom. This, along with je t'aime are very important phrases to know.

You know, because je t'aime means "I love you".
And here is where it might get a little mushy.
Or a lot mushy.

I love how you care for the animals and they all love you. 

I love how you drove almost an hour to meet me after I worked night-shift so we could have coffee together and I could have someone to honk at me if I fell asleep driving. 

I love how you spent time in a bookstore. With me. Just because. 

I love how you keep the house warm for me even though you prefer it cooler.

(Did you know that dry Christmas trees burn very, very hot?)

 I love how you are so serious when you study the Bible. 

And I love that there is this silly side of you that fits just right with the silly side of me. 

I love that you let me hang out on the tractor with you. 

And that you rescued me this day from slipping into a depression and you loved me and kept a hold of me when I was nearly falling into that dark pit. 

How could I not love that you do the dishes?

 I love that you can fix just about anything 

and you aren't ever afraid to get your hands dirty, 

even if you do get faint at the sight of blood or when I talk about gross nursing stuff. 

I love you because you love God and try to follow His commandments

as you serve your family, the church and the community. 

Je t'aime Leo. 

I know. It's not Valentine's Day yet but hey, love happens on February 12 too. 

Love, 

Dianne

If Only "I"

Day 9, Letter I.

If. 
If only.
If only I...

If only I had written last night, then I wouldn't be a day behind AGAIN!
I have decided that I say "I" way too much.  You don't think about it until you go to write something, anything and you start to wonder just how self-centered you are. Do you notice how I keep saying "you" instead of  "I"?  Sneaky huh?

Actually, I have noticed it frequently when I write. So many statements begin with  "I". It is a little unavoidable I guess when a blog is written about one's life experiences, but it does make me think. 

In a world of "selfies" and Facebook that want to know what I am thinking, it becomes difficult to not focus on oneself. When we are told to "Look out for Number 1", I am pretty sure it doesn't mean God, your husband, your wife or your children.

It should.

I find it difficult some days to take the focus off of "me" but on the days that I do, I am happier and have a joy that is not quite explainable. I find that when I do this, somehow it ends up coming back around and the parts of me that need some TLC are taken care of.

Just. Like. That.

Funny thing though. When I went on a search for quotes about "putting others first", it gave me many thoughts on why taking care of oneself first is important. Because "if you put others first, it is only reminding them that you are second." No kidding; that's what it kept giving me. Basically, putting others first really means (in worldly terms), to put your own self first because then you'll never be fit to care for anyone else anyhow.

I think I will stick with God's word on this one. One version said "outdo one another in showing honor". I like that.


https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAYQjB0&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.priorityministries.com%2Fchristian-womens-blog%2Fscripture-art-romans-1210%2F&ei=6xXdVNanFcyqgwTA8ICgDw&bvm=bv.85970519,d.eXY&psig=AFQjCNGAFLAMsLAL_fS9sOAM8d3lW2KNzQ&ust=1423861592297615

Love, 
Dianne

Hey, Hey, Hay!

Hey hey! 

Third post of the day!

The day is Day 8, The letter is H.

Did you ever think I'd get to this stage?

(Me neither.)

But Here's to horses, hardware, hiking and holly,

house and home, harmonica and harp,

Hay-making and Harvest.

And now, because Spring is a few weeks away,

and Summer is a few months away,

I thought I'd share some more favorites from the past year. 

(You know, to make us want winter to be over even more....)

Also, I noticed that my legs have utterly and completely lost any tan that they may have acquired over the summer and quite frankly, the best way to get some sunshine on the legs is to make some 

Hay. 

Can't you almost smell the grass drying in the sun? 

We have a few members of our farm family that enjoy this hay making business:

The Horses...

 ...the Herd...

and the Hen...

This is Ryan and I one evening as we wrapped the cut grass. 

Notice the night sky and the use of the flash.

This is not recommended if one wants to get a little tan on one's very white legs. 

It is however an interesting way to spend time with your son. 

Hey,Hey, Hay!

Love, Dianne